My vaginal dryness happen and persist when I am together for an intimate moment with my husband. It does not produce vaginal fluids as much as usual. As a result, the penetration becomes difficult and painful. It is not as pleasurable as before. I'm confused now. Can you help?
Thank you for your open mind and direct question. For me, the problem you are experiencing is only a minor problem and not one that is difficult or highly technical problem. So you should not be overly stressed out. It can be overcome, but may be repeated if it is left unchecked. Let's look at the root of the problem first. There are several possible causes why this phenomena happen, among them:
1-Lack of women sexual hormone known as estrogen.
Once upon a time, sex is the most amazing thing that could ever happen to you or me. Sex is the all important number one agenda in our mind. But over time it sometime over time, became a tiresome routine. With lack of sexual hormone and the natural excitement, sex could be a struggle, with lack of natural lube. This normally occur to women aged over 35 years and more significantly at the later age of around 45 years and above. This condition could be more closely related to the natural process of aging, stress, fatigue, malnutrition, breastfeeding or the side effect of certain birth control pills. However, younger women may also facing the dry vagina problem.
This condition could be treated and amended to make the situation more tolerable if treated properly. In some cases result could be seen as early as around 2 weeks from the date of the treatment. During the treatment period, you should consult your doctor directly and give immediate feedback for any abnormalities detected.
2-Lack of stimulation or "foreplay" when approaching sexual relationship.
This issue have been quite a common thing among couples approaching sexual relationship with the lack of stimulation or foreplay before the real sex session. The lack or not doing "foreplay" is a major cause of dryness of the vagina during sex. Some men might want to do it straight without thinking about his woman condition or feeling. It is a natural thing though because men achieve a faster arousal level compared to women.
In a normal cases, vaginal fluids will come out naturally in a lot of quantity when there is a stimulation that will bring a sense of arousal for women. This stimulation could includes verbal stimulation, physical, visual contact or intimate touch.
Women on average need a fairly longer period of around 30 -45 minutes to be thoroughly aroused during foreplay before penetration ready for sexual activity or genitalia. But this is not the case with men.
As a man, I advise you to tell your husband directly what you really want and what you don't want. Do not shy to speak out of what you actually want during sex. Just tell your husband, either verbally or by action what to do during foreplay. Show to your husband where the place that you want to be touched or treated, how contact should be made at certain area, either soft or rough and so on, even when your husband are ready to insert his penis, you still need to tell him for sure that you have really prepared for it. For example, you could ask to stay on top.
Do not simply assume that your man is a skilled person in sexual department just because he is a man. Men in general like to fondle women in a spontaneous manner and without much patient and compassion because it may reflects the greatness of a man although he can never for sure produce satisfactory sexual relationship. Do not hurls negative words during sex because it can inhibit stimulation and arousal.
Talk to your man and use all the senses, common sense including. Use all physical sense that God has given and try to discover the pleasure together as a husband and wife, and aim for a great relationship that would be forever remembered.
1-Choose healthy and balanced diet. Drink lots more water. Women with lack of lubricants can also take supplements such as:
-Take pills or supplements of Kacip Fatimah (Labisia pumila). It is the woman version of Tongkat Ali.
-Take supplements of Manjakani (oak galls) for stamina, libido and increased sensitivity of vagina.
- There are also energy drinks for women, based on those ingredients such as coffee Kacip Fatimah or Manjakani which could be drink 30 minutes before sexual activity, especially for energy and stamina.
-Take Evening Primrose Oil Pills, Pills Lobata and others to raise the female sex hormones indirectly.
-Increase soy isoflavones in your diet because it is well known to help dry vagina to improve.
-Take vitamin E. It helps to restore thin vaginal tissues.
-You also could try Chinese medicine and herbs which could delay the natural process of menopause
- Perform a regular self exam so you could understand any changes whether they are related with emotion, stress or other health factors. See a doctor if you detect any abnormality.
- Control your emotion and try to handle life problem in a proper solution. Positive thinking and emotion are indeed important.
2-Physically you could also try the following ways:
-Increase passion and intimacy with your partner and take time to do foreplay in a more creative manner. Caress one another a bit longer to increase arousal level.
- "Try flash sex" -sex in a hurry in a short time especially when you wake up in the morning, not necessarily to make you reach the climax, but it is encouraged to ensure that arousal created in the morning will remain until the night before the primary event start again.
-Massage and sauna to improve the blood flow.
-Diversify sex positions or places to avoid sexual boredom. Once in a while try something different to create excitement. Perhaps you could opt to do it outdoor or in natural places. Just make sure it is safe and you would not get caught!
-Perform longer foreplay to display affection with your husband when the opportunity arises. -Keep the fire and excitement alive by keeping a fit body and well maintained attire or dress.
3-Hormone replacement therapy.
Widely used in modern medicine, it has proven effective for increasing the synthetic sex hormone, promoting the production of vaginal fluid, provide energy and enhance sexual libido. This therapy has certain risks though. Hormone replacement therapy could increase the risk of breast cancer, heart disease and stroke. If you still want to go on, take the lowest dose possible and for the shortest time. Remember to consult a doctor before doing this therapy.
For a short term solution, you can apply artificial lubricant such as KY Jelly or Kamasutra lotion, if all the above effort do not produce a desired result. You can use this lubricant or other lubricants which are water based. It is relatively safe because of just only outside use.